I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been met with shock when I tell someone where I work. The reaction is usually followed by the shaking of one’s head, a few words about how unforgivable it is to hurt a child, and then, out it comes: “C’mon, what can you REALLY do to prevent child abuse for THOSE parents?”

I feel lucky to be able to answer. Most of the time, people are already thinking about the latest headline of a child who was brutally beaten. Yes, that child needs help and needs to be safe and protected. And yes, we are helping to make that happen. For every child you read about there are ten more who have parents “on the edge” — just a reaction or two away from losing it and bruising their child with a slapping hand or slicing word. And yes, we are doing many important things — for the sake of these children — to help these families regain the ability to make different and better choices.

These parents on the edge could make stronger choices to be sure that their children are nurtured and healthy. They aren’t always sure what their child needs or how to help them learn or how to discipline them without losing control. We exist, at Prevent Child Abuse-New Jersey, for the children of these families as much as we do for the children you see on headline news.

Preventing child abuse is about being certain that parents have what they need to be the strongest caregivers they can be. It means giving parents the places and the resources and the permission to learn about how to be mommies and daddies in the healthiest, most nurturing way. It means recognizing that money and child care are really, really big challenges when raising a child. It means that we — as educators, as neighbors, as health care providers, as voters — are committed to keeping families as far away from the edge as we can.

So when someone I know wonders “what can you REALLY do,” I tell them about my very own dark days, close to the edge.  The mornings, running late for the bus after the fifth request to “get the shoes on,” just as my son thinks it’s funny to let the our indoor cats out to play. The temper tantrum in the middle of the supermarket when the jar of jelly gets hits the floor in front of a crowd. The day my son spits on his brother to get a reaction. I remind them how I’ve seen the edge lure other parents, too. My sister-in-law whose new baby girl cried every night, inconsolably, for 18 months. My friend whose son with Autism threw all of her colleagues cell phones into the swimming pool during a workplace picnic. My cousin raising two tween girls alone after their father left the state for a new lover.

What do WE do to prevent child abuse? We understand the challenges that mothers and fathers face. We teach caregivers about soothing colicky babies and remind parents how to safely manage their own stress. We develop support groups for parents where they can ask questions about how to discipline and learn about a child’s different stages of development. We help families find health care providers and identify resources for children who have special needs. We advocate for support that keeps single parents from being isolated. We teach decision-makers about what families needs. We let them know that children are really affected by their family’s stress around unemployment, finances, and lack of child care. We do the very things that create a caring community for families.  And along the way… yes, we prevent child abuse, too.

The following is an entry in our “Guest Author” series on our official blog here at Prevent Child Abuse-New Jersey. Periodically, we will bring on leading members of the nonprofit world and its associated communities to discuss current trends, news, and best-practices. Our first guest post comes to us from Marion Conway, nonprofit consultant, and speaks to the benefits of social networking for nonprofit organizations here in New Jersey.

Nonprofits across the country are learning about the power of social media to build relationships with existing supporters, and to make new ones. Notice I said supporters – not donors. Social Media is used for so much more than fundraising, and in fact it can only be used effectively for fundraising once you have a solid presence and following. That takes time and energy – but guess what? – it can also be fun. The power of social media is its viral and interactive nature. It isn’t just about you getting your message out. It is about communicating with each other and others freely spreading your message.

Here are some ways a wide spectrum of New Jersey nonprofits are using social media.

On Twitter:

Community Food Bank of NJ (@CommFoodBankNJ)
The Community Food Bank thanks volunteer groups for food drives and days. They promote their major fundraising event (“The Blue Jean Ball”) along with their association with the national level Feeding America, and let their client organizations know about grant opportunities. The Food Bank also educates about hunger, and particularly that in New Jersey.

NJ Symphony (@njsymphony)
The NJ Symphony is fairly new to Twitter, but they already have over 300 followers. They “tweet” often letting their followers know about their concerts that are coming up soon and reporting on lots of other arts activities in NJ.

Turtle Back Zoo (@turtlebackzoo)
The Turtle Back Zoo has almost 2300 followers and is included on 138 lists. The zoo tweets often about events and things to do at the zoo. They are frequently listed on other people’s “followfriday” lists where people post who they recommend following on Twitter. The zoo is diligent about thanking those who mention them and this certainly endears them so they are mentioned again and again… and so every time they tweet, almost 2300 people may see what they have to say. It’s enough to make you want to go to the zoo!

Wild New Jersey (@WildNewJersey)
Wild New Jersey with almost 1400 followers tweets often about environmental issues and provides lots of links to promote advocacy on a wide range of issues.

Facebook

Jubilee Center of Hoboken (link)
The Jubilee Center reports frequently about all of the activities going on at the center. There are always great pictures that make you want to be there. They also post about fundraising events, both upcoming and pictures of straight from live events. They use Facebook to thank individuals and businesses helping them.

St. Benedict’s Prep, Newark (link)
Almost 1600 people “like” St. Benedict’s on Facebook and they do a great job of keeping alumni up-to-date on sports and other accomplishments. There are lots of short entries with something that would make an alum smile for a moment and think kindly with fond memories of their alma mater. They also recognize grants and say thank you. St. Benedict’s gets it – they don’t “fundraise” on Facebook, but they do a great job of building and maintaining relationships.

Blogging

Geraldine Dodge Foundation (blog.grdodge.org)
The Dodge Foundation has an excellent blog with many contributors. They blog about the areas they support, including education, the arts and the environment. They also tweet when they have a new article; people like me retweet the link and before you know it their blog has a good size audience that appreciates the time they take to write such interesting articles.

YouTube

YouTube is huge and is really a requirement, not an option, for reaching people under 30. It is under-used by nonprofits and has an incredible power potential for arts organizations, for advocacy and for educating on important topics. Every successful fundraiser will tell you about the importance of storytelling and YouTube is by far the best place online for storytelling.

Prevent Child Abuse-New Jersey (youtube.com/pcanj)
PCA-NJ makes excellent use of YouTube with professional education and advocacy-oriented videos. They are taking advantage of the special benefits for nonprofits that YouTube offers with their own channel complete with “Donate Now” capability.

I could go on forever but I think you get the idea. My next workshop is on September 15th and if you would like to sponsor one, let me know. I write about a wide range of issues of interest to nonprofits at my blog at marionconwaynonprofitconsultant.blogspot.com. Follow me on Twitter @MarionConway and perhaps you would “like” my Facebook page.

The heat is on throughout the nation with temperatures well into the hundreds in parts of the country. While many often look forward to this time of year (sun, surf and swimming), the scorching temperatures can pose many risks for children, including overheating inside a car.

I have read many articles related to this topic and very often, this turns out to be a horrific accident on the part of a distracted parent who is trying to get somewhere quickly and forgets that the child is in the car. The other common case is a parent who thinks that “a few minutes” in the car while they run inside to pick up something will not cause harm.

According to Safe Kids USA, each year an average of 36 children die from hyperthermia after being left unattended in a vehicle. As hot as it is outside, within 10 minutes the inside temperature of a vehicle will be almost 20 degrees hotter than the outside temperature. After 30 minutes, the vehicle’s temperature will be 34 degrees hotter.

Prevention education is the best advice I can give. Here are some safety tips from us here at Prevent Child Abuse-New Jersey to prevent a tragedy like this from happening:

• Teach children not to play in any vehicle. They are not toys and should enter and exit the car only with an adult present.
• Set your cell phone or Blackberry reminder to be sure you dropped your child off at day care/school.
• Set your computer calendar program, such as Outlook, to ask, “Did you drop off at day care today?”
• Have a plan that if your child is late for day care/school that you will be called within a few minutes. Be especially careful if you change your routine for dropping off little kids at day care.
• Place whatever necessary items you need to carry inside, such as your purse or briefcase, in front of your child’s car seat on the floor in the backseat. This prompts you to see your child as you reach for your belongings.
• NEVER leave a child unattended in a vehicle, even with the window slightly open.
• Check vehicles and trunks FIRST if a child goes missing.
• Dial 911 immediately if you see an unattended child in a car. EMS professionals are trained to determine if a child is in trouble.

For more tips, check out my “Summer Safety Tips” episode of our podcast here at Prevent Child Abuse-New Jersey:

Recognizing that creating a family-friendly workplace is an underlying factor in prevention, we celebrated a special “Kids Day” here at Prevent Child Abuse-New Jersey. Employees were invited to bring their children in for a fun day of learning and real-life experience appropriate for all ages.

We kicked off the day with an introduction from Executive Director Rush Russell, who spoke to the children about the importance of “practice” — just as kids practice their ABCs and riding a bicycle, parents practice every day to be the best parents they can be and show their families how much they are appreciated and loved.

After a snack and quick introductions to each other, the children learned a little bit about the work that Prevent Child Abuse-New Jersey does throughout the state, such as our home visitation, early childhood and education, training, and more. Each of these pieces all fit together to form our organization, and everyone works together to accomplish great things. We also spoke about areas such as “Finance” and “Human Resources” — the areas that work inside the organization to support everyone as they do their jobs.

Having learned about the different areas of our organization, the children played a game where they stood by the name of the department they believed their parent or guardian worked within.

Later in the morning, all of the children learning about podcasting and how the Internet has allowed organizations like Prevent Child Abuse-New Jersey to share tips and knowledge with people all across the state, and even the whole country! Each child stepped up to the microphone to tell us a little bit about why being a kid is so great, who their role models are, what they had learned so far about being kind to and careful with babies, and more. Sometimes kids really do say the darndest things, and you learn just how much of a positive impact you truly have on their lives.

Following a special pizza lunch back with their parents, the children regrouped for a group art project. Using magazine cut-outs and other materials, the children created pinwheels and other designs that represented a safe, happy, and healthy childhood.

We concluded the day by listening to the final product of the podcast the children recorded earlier in the day, complete with appropriate “Awww!”s and smiles. The children showed their parents their art projects, and helped out until the end of the day.

On Saturday, June 6th, Kohl’s Newton store coordinated a “Kids Day” in conjunction with six other area stores.

A-teams from Newton, Wayne, Hackettstown, Ledgewood, West Paterson, & Wayne stores raised $3,000 for child abuse prevention programs while hosting fun activities for local children and families.

Kohl’s in Wayne handling the Home Depot crafts

Magic Man Kevin Szwartz from Kohl’s in Newton

A full gallery of photos from the event can be found over on our Flickr page. Be a part of the next Kohl’s Kids Day on July 10th at Kohl’s in Old Bridge from 10 am to 1 pm — we hope to see you there!

The following article was written by Carl Shaw of the New Jersey State Parent Information and Resource Center. Carl is an expert on parent involvement, and a father himself. We also recorded a podcast with Carl on this same subject, so please enjoy the complementary audio material.

Be sure to check out our podcast over on our website and iTunes.

There are many faces of great fathers and father figures across our nation, all of whom should be celebrated and applauded on their day of recognition this Sunday!

From single or divorced fathers, to grandfathers, uncles, coaches, teachers and community leaders… there is one thing that all father figures can give their children: the gift of time!

Children who have positive and guided experiences with both their maternal and paternal figures lead more happy, healthy and productive adult lives. Even when a child is cared for by capable and nurturing mothers, we find that fathers may bring a different and necessary dynamic to their child’s development:

• Fathers tend to be more playful and physical; these interactions are essential for body and brain development.
• Fathers are often more likely to encourage a child to keep trying, rather than to jump in and assist them; this helps develop confidence and self reliance.
• Fathers generally approach childrearing with a goal of helping “prepare a child for the world” while the maternal approach to childrearing may come from their natural instinct “to protect them” from the world. These different approaches help create a sense of courage and persistence, a characteristic which is paramount for a productive and fulfilling life.

Every parent – male or female – is unique in their approach to caregiving. Varying interactions and styles, when they are healthy and positive, complement strong development for both young boys and girls. Sometimes we need to put extra effort in to reminding the men in our life how important their influence and time really is… and this Sunday is the perfect time to do so!

Here are a few ways to share quality father time with your family and children:

• Share what time has taught you - A simple walk through town or a nice meal is a great opportunity to share with your family what you have learned about living a good life. We all make mistakes but we can use them to teach our children to make better choices.
• Schedule time to commit to your child’s education – Make it a point to know your child’s teachers, school leaders, and curriculum so you can support your child’s educational experience. Stay informed of district and state updates to prepare for any changes or modifications in your child’s school.
• Make time for exercise - Schedule time with your children to play together, exercise together, and prepare healthy food together. This teaches children to develop good habits for an active lifestyle and healthy food choices while aiding to the wellness and longevity of the entire family.
• Be careful with time spent on TV and movies, but do so WITH your child - Let’s face it… most children love movies, television, and listening to music. Yes, we should limit the amount of time children spend watching TV, but we should also watch shows and listen to music with them. This will allow you to discuss some of the topics that are mentioned in today’s movies, TV shows and songs. You may even enjoy it!  Entertainment and media has changed drastically over the last thirty to forty years so it’s important that we stay aware of our children’s influences.
• Find moments to show love and affection - The most important thing you can show your child is love and affection. A smile, a gentle rub on the back, or a big hug can mean the world to a child and turn a stressful day into a relaxing evening at home. Studies show that adults are more content with their lives when they are given genuine and healthy love and affection as children. Make sure you take time to hug your children and tell them how much you love them!

Childhood memories last a lifetime and childhood influences are the blueprint for the lives our children will lead as adults. As we celebrate Father’s Day this weekend, let us also reflect on ways that we can incorporate quality father time into the lives of our children and families to create a better tomorrow for everyone!

Happy Father’s Day!

Many New Jersey schools are experiencing a rough period of time. Local districts seem pressured to lower budgets, raise test scores and navigate through changing federal policies. Even with these challenges, it brings a smile to our collective faces to see Newark Public Schools still finding time to recognize parents and community members who are making a positive difference in the most important part of the education system — our children!

On May 26th, Assistant Superintendent Dr. Dale Talbert and Regional Parent Coordinator Beverly Evans hosted the “Parent Volunteers’ Recognition Awards Program” to acknowledge parents and community members who have given their time to support students and school staff throughout the school year. Carl Shaw, Program Coordinator for the New Jersey Parent Information and Resource Center (NJPIRC) here at Prevent Child Abuse-New Jersey, was also invited to the event and received the “Community Service Award” for his role in helping to set up and enhance parent resource areas in four Newark schools.

After receiving the award, Mr. Shaw used the platform to reiterate the importance of parental awareness and engagement to boost academic achievement for all students. I asked Mr. Shaw what his single, biggest piece of advice would be for parents with regard to their child’s education:

The biggest piece of advice I would give parents regarding their child’s education is to get very familiar with the school community and become an active part of it! The school community includes teachers/staff, school leaders, district leaders, other parents, and even other students! School-aged children spend an average of 7 hours per day in school so it is imperative to get to know the people who are sharing this time with your children!

We want to extend a huge “Congratulations!” to Mr. Shaw, and encourage you all to learn more about what he is doing for parental involvement here in New Jersey. You can find more information about the New Jersey State Parent Information and Resource Center (NJPIRC), a program of Prevent Child Abuse-New Jersey, and the schools with NJPIRC Parent Resource Areas at www.njpirc.org.

Once a year we gather friends and advocates across the state to help raise support for our child abuse prevention programs. On Saturday, May 1st, we joined more than 240 friends for a Dinner & Casino Cruise that raised nearly $50,000!

The evening, hosted by Dr. Randal Pinkett, featured a variety of casino games, silent auction items, raffle prizes, and more. Dr. Pinkett’s charisma was in full effect throughout the evening as he urged attendees to help themselves to dinner and dessert, get their raffle entries submitted in time, and particularly with giving away said raffle prizes such as a high-definition television and an Amazon Kindle, all generously donated by our incredible supporters.

As we sailed along the Hudson River underneath iconic bridges and the Statue of Liberty, attendees enjoyed a video presentation detailing our dedication to child abuse prevention, words from Executive Director Rush Russell and President of the Board Judith Tell Feldman, and much more.

Support for the event was appreciated and publicized via our special “100 Ways To Prevent Abuse” video ad journal. Alongside one hundred written tips on how to prevent abuse in our everyday lives, Prudential, Sovereign Santander, Verizon, US Retirement Partners, PSE&G, and many other private and generous donors were showcased.

(Ad Journal also available as a standard PDF)

“What a beautiful night! What fundraiser have YOU gone to that had Manhattan’s skyline and the Statue of Liberty a hundred yards away, as we cruised the Hudson River? The event was a fun and wonderful evening, with good food, prizes,  casino games and very generous supporters,” said Rush Russell, Executive Director, Prevent Child Abuse-New Jersey.

A gallery of photos from the evening is currently available on our Flickr page.

In President Obama’s fiscal year 2010 budget there was a proposed $8.5 billion over 10 years for states to provide new evidence-based home visitation programs to low income families. Prevent Child Abuse-New Jersey is the New Jersey Affiliate for two of the National Evidence-Based Home Visitation Program Models — Healthy Families America and Parents As Teachers.

The American Academy of Pediatrics says that traditional pediatric care is often based on the assumption that parents have the basic knowledge and resources to provide a nurturing, safe environment and to provide for the emotional, physical, developmental, and health care needs of their infants and young children. Unfortunately, many families have insufficient knowledge of parenting skills and an inadequate support system of friends, extended family, or professionals to help with these vital tasks. Home-visitation programs offer an effective mechanism to ensure ongoing parental education, social support, and linkage with public and private community services.

So what do we want? We want to go to scale. We all understand the importance of these types of programs, but we are only serving a small number of families compared to the families in need of these services.

Our question to you is this — how do we effectively advocate taking these important programs to scale, and how can we work together? The evidence is there. All we need to do is spread the word. What tools can we provide you with, and what suggestions do you have for us? We would love to hear from you!

If February is to be remembered for making plans for snow, then let us remember March as the month to make plans for pinwheels.

As we get ready for Child Abuse Prevention Month in April, we’re launching our “Pinwheels for Prevention” campaign with a challenge from special friends. Child advocates Arthur and Debbie Roedel of the Monmouth Mobile Home Park in Monmouth Junction, NJ, have made already made a $5,000 gift as lead sponsor for this statewide campaign and are challenge urging citizens and communities in all 21 counties to follow their example.

“I’ve always believed that you get back what you put into your community. Our children are no different. I’m asking others to really think about the families living around them and make a commitment to the children in their neighborhoods,” explained Roedel. “If we can do this for our community, I can only imagine what all of New Jersey can do.”

We’ve made it easy for you to get involved by offering free online downloads, educational materials and pinwheel toolkits that allow individuals and groups to play a lead in the month’s activities. Visit www.preventchildabusenj.org/cap for all of these resources.

What will you do for Child Abuse Prevention Month? Organizations and businesses can plant pinwheel gardens in front of their buildings, individuals can wear pinwheel lapel pins, elected officials can issue proclamations for their towns, and communities can sign and display “promise cards” which offer ways they can support the families and children around them. Be sure to tell us about your activities by sharing photos and dates for your community’s events so that we can celebrate your commitment to children. We can’t wait to showcase them on the website and here on the blog!

Remember, IT’S YOUR TURN!