As you have no doubt read in our weekly recaps throughout April (one / two / three / four), Child Abuse Prevention Month 2011 was a fantastic success. We received so many stories from across the state, and could not have asked for a better community to work with. The response was overwhelming — our website received a whopping 63,000 hits during the month of April, the best we have ever seen.

One thing that folks have been asking about is our Pinwheel Contest. We are finally ready to announce that the winner is…

Congrats to the Cape May Healthy Families-TIP program! The photo of little Sophia Giuliano epitomizes everything about a safe, happy, healthy, and nurtured childhood. Check out our full press release announcing the winner, and be sure to enter next year!

We have one last tidbit from the month to share with everyone. This great story comes to us from Robins’ Nest in Glassboro, whose commitment to children gained the attention of Mayor Leo McCabe!

Robins’ Nest Makes a Difference in the Lives of Children and Families

Glassboro, NJ – Robins’ Nest is supporting our community’s children and families by promoting positive childhood outcomes and ensuring that every child benefits from a happy, healthy and safe childhood.  April was Child Abuse Prevention Month and in partnership with Prevent Child Abuse – New Jersey for the Pinwheels for Prevention Campaign Robins’ Nest offered citizens, businesses and community groups an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of children.

Pinwheels remind us of carefree, happy childhoods and are a visible symbol of the kind of childhood every child deserves.  Child abuse can be prevented and we all have an important part in making that happen.  When we work together to promote nurturing parent-child interactions, teach discipline that is safe and age-appropriate, and foster early learning opportunities, we actually support child development and healthy family relationships – the very actions that help and are proven to prevent child abuse and neglect.

Anthony DiFabio, Chief Executive Officer of Robins’ Nest said, “While we will never waiver in our efforts to support and nurture those whose lives have been inextricably altered by child abuse, we as an agency and society can and must do more to prevent the abuse from ever happening.”

In New Jersey, too many children are exposed to intensive stress like child abuse and neglect.  These exposures can be devastating to child development.  This is where prevention is so critical.

Mayor Leo McCabe presented a proclamation to Robins’ Nest in support of this effort, declaring April 2011 as Child Abuse Prevention Month in Glassboro, New Jersey.

Doesn’t every child deserve to grow up in a healthy and safe environment?

About Robins’ Nest Inc.
Robins’ Nest is a private, nonprofit 501(C) (3), children’s services organization dedicated to ensure the safety of children and enhance their well-being in a family setting. This is accomplished through a wide array of quality, community-based residential and in-home services, which encourage and empower children to become responsible members of the community.  The agency employs over 225 therapists, clinicians, psychotherapists, nurses, and other staff to administer over 40 programs to over 7400 children and families annually.  Robins’ Nest serves the seven counties of Southern New Jersey through its main campus in Glassboro, N.J., and satellite offices in Egg Harbor Township, Elmer, Mullica Hill, Salem City and Vineland.

For more information on Robins’ Nest Inc., please visit www.robinsnestinc.org.

Photo: Mayor Leo McCabe of Glassboro (left) presents a Proclamation to Anthony DiFabio, Chief Executive Officer of Robins’ Nest, in front of the pinwheel garden in recognition of Child Abuse Prevention Month.

Once again we extend an enormous “Thank You!” to everyone who participated in Child Abuse Prevention Month this past April. We look forward to working with you throughout the entire rest of the year and beyond!

The fourth week of Child Abuse Prevention Month 2011 brings us more tips and a wealth of new pictures!

Below is the latest round of tips we have posted over on our Twitter account (follow us: @pcanj):

• Turn off the TV; spend more time cuddling & reading books with your child. The time & attention has benefits beyond school success!
• “A person’s a person, no matter how small.” — Dr. Suess
• Set an example for your kids by being courteous and respectful to everyone you meet.
• Keep books and other reading materials where your child can easily reach them.

The home care agency People Care of New Jersey, Inc. sent along a photo of a great poster board they created showcasing their motto: compassion, dedication, education.

Magical Rainbow Preschool in West New York, NJ sent along a bunch of pictures, including this one the staff put together themselves:

Their dedication to children never ceases to impress us! Here’s what they had to say:

Thank you for allowing Magical Rainbow staff, students and parents to participate in such a vital important subject in our life. As family workers for the school we work hard to prevent all types of abuse and to make our community aware that there is help out there and we are there if needed. We enjoyed putting together these posters that I have attached in the email to spread the word for all to see to prevent all types of abuse. Our children are the most important part of our future — they will be the ones to make the difference.

The next couple pictures come to us courtesy of Brick Avon Academy in Newark. The pinwheels look great on their way up into the school!

In collaboration with NJPIRC, Jersey City P.S. #24 highlighted Child Abuse Prevention Month with the pinwheel campaign on their new website’s slide show, all thanks to their amazing parent group, PTP (Parent Teacher Partnership).

Healthy Families in Cape May sent this fantastic shot from their event with a huge collection of planted pinwheels!

Jugando Aprendemos in West New York, NJ had Officer Aguayo come to the center to speak about child abuse, in addition to the wonderful pinwheel displays set up:

SonRise Development Corporation held a “Strengthening Families Play Date and Resource Fair” on April 9th. Be sure to check out even more photos from their event!

There is still a little bit of time left — be sure to enter our Annual Pinwheel Contest for a chance to win a Donut & Coffee breakfast party and a $100 gift certificate toward next year’s CAP Month materials! Send your pictures in today to pinwheels@preventchildabusenj.org — we would love to feature them on the website and blog!

The third week of Child Abuse Prevention Month 2011 brings us more tips, more pictures, and a new podcast episode!

Below is the latest round of tips we have posted over on our Twitter account (follow us: @pcanj):

• Create a quiet, special place at home for reading, writing and drawing.
• “Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.” – Dr. Haim Ginott
• Catch your child being good. The best way to encourage children to repeat a positive behavior is to praise them for it.
• Kids do not deal well with gray areas. Set rules and stick to them so that it is fair to you and fair to your child.
• Spend time each day focused entirely on your child. If you spend positive time together, they will not need to misbehave to get attention.

Monmouth Mobile Home Park in South Brunswick once again set up their pinwheel garden this year in celebration of Child Abuse Prevention Month:

FAMILYConnections held a Community Workshop in honor of Child Abuse Prevention Month on April 13th at the Family Success Center in Orange with workshops, discussions, and guest speakers. In attendance was Orange Mayor Eldridge Hawkins:

To wrap things up this week, we have a new podcast episode! We here at Prevent Child Abuse-New Jersey took some time to discuss Child Abuse Prevention Month, what it means to the community, what events to look forward to, and some suggestions on how any person at all can get involved to make a difference. Visit our “Podcast” page to subscribe and automatically receive new episodes for free, or listen below!

Be sure to enter our Annual Pinwheel Contest for a chance to win a Donut & Coffee breakfast party and a $100 gift certificate toward next year’s CAP Month materials! Send your pictures in today to pinwheels@preventchildabusenj.org — we would love to feature them on the website and blog!

As originally printed in the Trenton Times & NJ.com on April 20, 2011:

Last week, we read yet another horribly sad story, about a New York mom who drove into a river with her children in the car. While the eldest managed to escape, she and three of her children died. When we read such accounts, we react with incredulity — it’s impossible to imagine what circumstances could ever lead to such a cruel and horrific decision by a child’s parent. The story is almost too sad to read.

A crucial question is: Do we know enough to prevent tragedies like this from ever occurring again? The answer is that, while we can’t always prevent every single case like this, we can prevent many cases of child abuse and therefore save lives.

In these most extreme cases, national statistics show — maybe surprisingly — that the most frequent perpetrator is the mom, acting alone. Frequently, that mom is experiencing a combination of other major stresses in her life, especially related to the “big three”: serious depression or other mental illness, domestic violence and substance abuse.

Thanks to studies and research, we know how to prevent many cases of child abuse and neglect. While a common factor behind many of these cases is overwhelming stress, programs that teach parents about healthy and positive parenting can reduce the stress of being isolated and of not knowing how to parent a newborn child.

Research-based home visiting programs, such as “Healthy Families” or “Parents as Teachers,” work with moms and dads to help them understand normal child behavior and give them information about ways to handle parenting’s pervasive challenges. For parents without a positive role model, without knowledge about normal child development or without family or friends to turn to, home visitors can make the difference.

A recently published evaluation of the Healthy Families home visiting program in New York found — four years after the program had ended — that the program reduced the likelihood of a parent having a low birth-weight baby by up to 75 percent, reduced by almost 90 percent the number of serious physical child abuse incidents, and significantly improved those parenting skills correlated with healthy child development. Researchers found the program had even better results with women in higher risk situations, including women experiencing depression and having poor parenting skills. Other research has shown that Healthy Families can reduce the incidence of domestic violence.

Is there more that needs to be done for parents who face additional stress, beyond the sometimes overwhelming everyday variety? Nearly every parent understands that parenting can be the most challenging job, as children will inevitably be able to push our buttons until we are exhausted, frustrated, and yes, sometimes, angry. But most of us manage to deal with even those trying moments by using a combination of parenting skills we have learned, and without resorting to hitting, injuring or neglecting our children.

But what happens when a parent who is facing those same circumstances also experiences major depression or other mental health issues? Uses drugs or alcohol, poured on top of severe stress? Is a victim of domestic violence, which often spills over to an innocent child?

Home visitors already do two things to help. Through interviews with the family and their own observations, they identify these problems when no one else may know about them. By gaining the family members’ trust and visiting in the family’s own home, they learn about behavior and incidents that often won’t be shared with anyone else. Once they learn about the problems, they can help link a family with professional counseling and treatment services as quickly as possible. And if a child is in danger, they also let the appropriate authorities know.

Clearly, more needs to be — and can be — done. Home visiting programs serve only a small fraction of families in need; the reality is that nearly every family could benefit from having at least one home visit after the birth of a child, simply to see how things are going and answer the inevitable questions. Home visitors and other staff would also benefit from additional training about how to recognize these tougher issues, and how and when to intervene when there is a danger to a child. Finally, stronger efforts are also needed to make sure a family member who needs treatment — for substance use, mental health or domestic violence services — gets help quickly. Right now, there are huge gaps between the supply of high-quality treatment services and the demand. Too many times, there are waiting lists or a lack of available slots when urgent situations exist.

There are no simple answers, but research shows that evidence-based prevention programs can prevent child abuse and also build a strong foundation for healthy parenting skills and strong families that help children succeed in school and throughout their lives.

The second week of Child Abuse Prevention Month brings us even more to share!

We have been posting another round of parenting tips on our Twitter account (follow us: @pcanj). Here is a recap of the latest ones:

• Show your child how to behave. If your child pulls a cat’s tail, show her how to pet a cat. Do not rely on words alone.
• Say “I Love You!” at least once each day.
• Put down what you’re doing to listen to your child when they’re talking to you, and make eye contact.
• Be flexible, especially with older children and adolescents. Listen and get your child’s input on some rules and punishment.
• Start a family game night. Write each family member’s name on a day on the calendar. That person decides which game will be played that evening.

The Lambda Tau Omega Sorority Incorporated Ariamas Sigma Chapter at The Richard Stockton College of NJ shared a wealth of photos over on our Facebook page this past week. Here are a couple of our favorites:

Be sure to enter our Annual Pinwheel Contest for a chance to win a Donut & Coffee breakfast party and a $100 gift certificate toward next year’s CAP Month materials! Send your pictures in today to pinwheels@preventchildabusenj.org — we would love to feature them on the website and blog!

Don’t forget this weekend’s book clearance sale at J.R. Trading Company in Monmouth Junction — it’s another great way for you to help support us in our mission to end child abuse in New Jersey. Simply present our special flyer (PDF) when you check out, and a percentage of your purchase will go to Prevent Child Abuse-New Jersey.

The first week of Child Abuse Prevention Month 2011 has New Jersey off to a great start! Pictures, events, and stories are pouring in to us, so we wanted to share back some of what you all are doing out there along with us.

We have been sharing some parenting tips every day on our Twitter account (follow us: @pcanj). Here are some of the ones we have posted so far:

• Nurture your own self-esteem, and your child will have a great role model.
• Tend to have difficulty in the same situations? Talk w/ your child beforehand to explain expectations & review consequences of misbehavior.
• Don’t call out instructions to your child from another room if you are really serious about wanting them done.
• Punishment shows children what not to do; only guidance and teaching can show children what to do.

New Brunswick was gracious enough to fly our Child Abuse Prevention Month banner above George and Church Street, letting all New Jersians know that it is their turn to make a difference in the lives of children.

Mile Square Early Learning Center in Hoboken sent us this fantastic image of a pinwheel display with banners:

The Kappa Delta Sorority at TCNJ held their Shamrock ‘N Run 5k back at the end of March at Mercer County park, and sent along the following pictures:

We can’t wait to get your pictures and stories! Drop us a line at pinwheels@preventchildabusenj.org so we can promote all the great things happening throughout the state. Any picture you send also gets you entered into our “Pinwheel Contest” — you can win a coffee & donut breakfast as well as a $100 gift certificate toward next year’s Child Abuse Prevention Month materials!

Earlier this week, the American Academy of Pediatrics published new car seat recommendations for parents in the April 2011 issue of Pediatrics.

One of the biggest changes in recommendations is for children to remain in their rear-facing car seat up through age two (or the maximum height and weight limit), whereas the previous recommendations from 2002 prompted many parents to begin the switch after the child’s first birthday.

Another new recommendation is that children twelve years and younger should ride in the back seat, in addition to other recommendations involving booster seats and the heights of the children.

Pediatrician Dr. Alison Baer has produced a short video showcasing each of the recommendations, the evidence behind them, and suggestions and tips for children of all ages:

Many parents have shared stories of children frightened to not be facing forward (and therefore able to see where they are going), which can lead to either switching the child’s seat around, or at the very least, making for a loud trip with plenty of crying and screaming! At the end of the day, though, it has to be about the children and their safety. Prevent Child Abuse-New Jersey actively works to end child abuse by way of evidence-based programs, and we of course must recommend that parents take the science and evidence from these exprts into account when making decisions about the safety of their children.

Like Dr. Baer says, it does not matter if it is just a short trip back home from school or the grocery store — the vast majority of accidents happen close to home, so always remember to buckle up properly!

When Cramer Elementary School in Camden announced its new name, it was clear that it just wasn’t just any three words added to the schools namesake — there was a message being sent to the school community. “Cramer College Preparatory Lab School” was renamed as such so everyone knew that these students were being prepared to be college bound. Along with a new name came new leadership as first year assistant principal, Dr. Marvin Gantt, fully understands the importance of family engagement during Cramer’s new focus of creating nothing less than educated and prepared future college students.

Though Dr. Gantt was new to the NJPIRC partnership and Action Team model, he was one of the first school administrators to reach out to us in order to get started on this year’s plan. With the help of the parent coordinator, Ms. Nilsa Cruz, they did not miss a step as they recruited new parents for the 2010-11 Action Team and scheduled the NJPIRC Refresher Training within the first two weeks of school. Shortly after their initial training, Cramer School submitted their action plan stating exactly how they would engage parents during the school year to increase student achievement. In addition to reading and math workshops to assist parents in helping their children learn, the Action Team has also planned monthly parent support workshops with topics that include “Allergy and Asthma Awareness,” “Parent Child Communication,”  and “Nutrition for Optimal Learning.”

With parents being engaged at this level, there is no doubt that the students of Cramer College Preparatory Lab School will be equipped for success at the secondary level and beyond.

We are excited about this year’s partnering schools and will be sharing the accomplishments of other partners as they continue to create a culture of family engagement to increase student achievement in New Jersey! When Parents Believe… Students Achieve!

For more information about NJPIRC partnering schools and what you can do to increase family engagement in your school, please visit www.njpirc.org.

On January 26, 2011, the NJ Supreme Court unanimously ruled that a parent “slapping their child” did not constitute “child abuse”. The court’s ruling overturned an action by the NJ Division on Youth and Family Services to remove a teenager from her father and stepmother’s home in 2008. The father admitted that his wife had slapped his daughter and took her earnings from a part-time job to pay a TV cable bill.

In its ruling, the Supreme Court ruled that an occasional slap, “although hardly admirable…does not fit a common sense prohibition against excessive corporal punishment”.

In general, the NJ definition for physical child abuse states that a parent’s punishment of a child would need to lead to a serious injury to be classified as child abuse, so the court’s actual decision isn’t the story.

However, the court’s comment that the act is “hardly admirable” is important for two reasons.

First, research overwhelmingly shows that there are alternatives to spanking (or in this case “slapping a child in the face”) that are more effective in raising and disciplining a child — which is the point.

Striking a child has been shown to increase negative behaviors, including aggression, in children. When someone is hit, whether it’s an adult or a child, a natural reaction is hostility, fear, anger, and resentment. There is research that points out that children experience these same emotions and it affects their future behavior and attitudes — the same as it would an adult.

Second, research also shows that hitting a child as a disciplinary measure simply doesn’t work. It may change an immediate behavior due to the child’s fear of being hit again, but research shows that children who are hit are more likely to be misbehave after five years than children who weren’t hit.

Even supporters of spanking concede that the emotional and mental state of the parent can negatively, and quite harshly so, affect the child on the receiving end. Organizations such as the Family Research Council have noted, even amidst their other recommendations, that “physical abuse by an angry uncontrolled parent will leave lasting emotional wounds and cultivate bitterness and resentment within a child,” and further, “reactive impulsive hitting after losing control due to anger is unquestionably the wrong way for a parent to use corporal punishment“.

Do you think the mom of this teenager who was slapped was administering “balanced” and “prudent” use of spanking, or is it more likely that she was angry, reactive, or impulsive? How many parents are cool, calm and collected when they reach out and spank their children?

The reality is many parents resort to spanking their children out of frustration, when a child has pushed their buttons and refused to obey, with the result being an impulsive smack “to get the child’s attention”. Usually, the parent has simply run out of patience and believes they have the right to hit their children if they want to. Additionally, a parent who chooses to spank may come to rely on it more frequently to get a child’s attention, and use more severe spanking as the child grows older… and bigger.

It may also be useful to realize that parents choose to hit their children, in part, because while the children are small, they are unlikely to hit back. Not too many parents spank their six-foot-tall sons. In addition, parents choose to spank because they lack the patience or education to use more positive — and effective — parenting techniques, or they were hit as a child and simply repeat their parent’s behavior.

I asked a fellow parent, who supports spanking his son as a disciplinary measure, if he thinks spanking his children strengthens his child’s respect for him as a father or mother… or whether it might fuel hostility or anger in the child. The answer: “Spanking teaches my child to respect me”  (because if they don’t, they get spanked again…).

There is a better and more effective way to raise children than resorting to hitting your child when they don’t behave. It requires patience — a boatload of patience, sometimes — along with knowledge about other ways that work better. For more information about positive discipline, check out some of our “Tips For Parents“.

The beginning of a new year is the perfect time to set resolutions. This year, why not make getting involved in your child’s education one of them? This one simple resolution can lead to a lifetime of benefits for your child including: better grades and test scores, more positive attitudes and behaviors,  stronger connections in the classroom, higher literacy levels and an increased likelihood that they will pursue higher education. Parent involvement is also one of the best investments a parent can make. Students who graduate from high school earn, on average, $200,000 more in their lifetimes than students who drop out. College graduates make almost $1 million more!

We all want our children to succeed in school, but with work, home, and other responsibilities we often feel like we are being pulled in a million directions and can’t imagine doing one more thing. As a parent of two elementary school children and a full time working mom, I understand how difficult it can be to become and stay involved. However, parent involvement doesn’t just mean going to meetings or volunteering in a classroom during the day. There are lots of different types of activities you can do (and may already be doing) to support your child’s education.

Parent involvement in education can mean:

• Reading a bedtime story to your preschool child
• Checking homework every night
• Discussing your children’s progress with teachers
• Voting in school board elections
• Helping your school to set challenging academic standards
• Limiting TV viewing on school nights
• Becoming an advocate for better education in your community and state
• Insisting on high standards of behavior for children

Whatever your level of involvement, remember: If you get involved and stay involved, you can make a world of difference. So resolve to get involved — it may be the most profitable resolution you can make!

For additional tips on how to get involved, download copies of the NJPIRC tip sheets “How to Support Learning in the Home” or “Ideas for Parents“.